When I'm upset or stressed I eat. I tear down the entire kitchen and inhale all snacks and things chocolatey. And then I feel fat, so I mope around and eat some more.

One of the reasons behind my stress is college. I don't know whether I want to move to a big bustling city or a small suburban town. I don't know how I'm going to pay if I go out-of-state. I don't know, I just don't know! Gah!

During dinner, my mom kept urging me to go to Chapel Hill, which was seriously grating on my nerves. She made it seem like it was the only option available to me, like she had my entire future mapped out for me. So I glared at her and said:

"If you keep this up, I won't even apply to Chapel Hill. I'll go out-of-state, to some place far away from you."

There was a split second of silence.

And then...

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Before I could comprehend what was happening, my own mother, sitting across the dinner table from me, was bawling her eyes out. It was just...so...shocking. At first, I didn't know whether the "Waaah! Wa-aaah(s)!" were real. But then I noticed the tears. For a while, I was rendered speechless.

"How could you say something like that?" she bawled, "You're my only child, my only daughter. I'll miss you too much! Why can't you go to a school that's close to home? I could make you lots of delicious food, store it all in an icebox, and drop it off at your dorm. If you get sick, I can drive over there right away and take care of you. If you need help, or anything, I'll be close by to assist you. Our years together are limited, you know. That's why you should go to Chapel Hill, so you can be closer to your poor mother! When you say you want to go some place far away from me, it makes me feel like you're throwing me away! Waaah!"

I rushed over and hugged my mom. "Aw, Maa! I didn't mean that! Come on...I'm not really going to leave you." I patted her on the back. My mom was acting so childlike, bawling and rambling at the same time. It was almost comedic. I started laughing, hoping it would lighten the mood. "This is silly," I told her, "Don't cry."

"That's my worst fear, you know," she sniffled. "You leaving me. I once read a story about an old woman, who stayed at a retirement home. Every year, during the holidays, all of the other elderly people would get picked up by their children. But no one ever came to bring this old woman home. She waited year after year, hoping her children would remember to visit. But they never did. Finally, she died, sad and all alone."

My mom's story made my heart hurt. I almost started crying too, but I resisted the feeling, and instead, laughed some more. I assured my mom I would never put her in a retirement home. After some more comforting and reassurance, she calmed down. It wasn't long before she was back to her normal, cheery self. 

After the dishes were put away, she opened the refrigerator and started admiring all of the tomatoes, green beans, okra, and corn she had accumulated. Since those items had been on sale at Harris Teeter this week, she bought nearly six pounds of each.  

"Hey Sophia! After we eat all these vegetables, let's go to the farmer's market one Saturday and buy more okra!"

"Yeah, heehee, sure Mom!" I laughed, deciding it probably wouldn't be the best time to tell her I didn't particularly like okra.

My parents went out a couple of minutes ago...to Harris Teeter...again. My mom insisted they go to a different Harris Teeter this time, hoping their selection would be slightly different. I think she wants more corn. She made me eat four ears of corn today. She also made me eat a plate of okra and a bowl of tomato-onion-okra soup. Plus chicken and rice...I'm going to burst. Ugh, okra.

But because her sudden outburst had stressed me out, after they left, I ate half a bag of potato chips, a whole carton of peanut brittle, and a chocolate bar. To stop myself from devouring anything else, I chewed an entire pack of gum. I spent a long tme just sitting there, chewing vigorously, and weighing my options.

In the end, I decided my mom is more important. So I may have to kiss both big city and cute suburban town goodbye. I wanted to go some place distant, with lots of trees. I've been aching for that place for so long now. Some place green, quaint, and humble. Where I can finally find peace, relax, and acquire the inspiration to write.

But if it comes down to a cute place with trees and my mom, it's still going to be my mom. It will always be my mom.